Being Positive is Hard Work

i feel like i am living in a bad dream.  its hard for me to accept the fact that i am in this much pain again.  my fear is that the herniated disc i have at L4-5 has become worse.  since the fusion was done at L5-S1, the disc above has been picking up the slack.  im really scared and there have been a lot of tears today.  im also finding it much harder to be as positive as i was when i was having one surgery after another.  however, i am still looking for ways to keep my chin up & a smile on my face.  facebook has been a huge source of support for me.  the comments and messages are all so kind and sweet.  i feel grateful that to have such a great virtual support system!  another way that i try to remain positive and in good spirits is by thinking about how other people are suffering far worse than me and are remaining positive & upbeat.  i also try to focus on the positives in my life.  i have a fantastic job, work with amazing people, come home to my loving adorable cats, have friends & family that i couldnt live without, and im losing weight on a weekly basis! :)  did you think i wasnt going to sneak weight watchers in there somewhere? :)  so, as hard as being positive is for me right now, i will continue to look for ways to brighten my mood!

onto yesterday's meals
march 7, 2001

Morning
Honey Sunshine (1 large banana, 1/2 cup trader joe's organic vanilla soy milk, 1/2 cup kashi honey sunshine cereal)	3
Coffee (1/4 cup fat free half & half, 2 tsp organic turbinado raw cane sugar, 6 cups black coffee)	2
Subtotal	5
Midday
1  medium orange(s)	0
1  large peach(es)	0
1  small pear(s)	0
1  medium nectarine(s)	0
1  cup(s) grapes	0
1/2 serving(s) Trader Joe's Organic Nonfat Yogurt French Vanilla	2
1  cup(s) fresh blueberries (in above yogurt)	0
1  serving(s) Trader Joe's Organic Light String Cheese	1
1  medium baby carrots	0
Subtotal	3
Evening
1  serving(s) Trader Joe's Butcher Shop Ground Beef 96/4	3
1  serving(s) Trader Joe's Sliced Lite Provolone	2
2  Tbsp Free Thousand Island Salad Dressing	1
1  cup(s) mixed greens (trader joe's organic romaine lettuce, trader joe's organic broccoli slaw, grape tomatoes, red onions, and cucumber)	0
1  serving(s) Trader Joe's Crinkle Wedge Potatoes	3
Subtotal	9
Anytime
4  cup(s) Healthy Pop® Kettle Corn, Popped	3
1/2 cup(s) Fat-Free Mint Cookies 'n Cream Frozen Yogurt	3
1  Chocolate Marshmallow Madness	3
Subtotal	9

                                        Food PointsPlus values total used 26

i made a cheeseburger for dinner but skipped the bun because i would rather have desserts. however, i ended up not using all my points so i could have had a bun!  oh well!  i didnt miss it anyway!  :)
 
hope you are all having a wonderful guilt free day!! :)